One year ago, I held your mother’s hand and promised to love and cherish her for eternity. As a rule, I do not make promises. I suppose that is the first sign you are in love: forever does not seem long enough.
I first saw your mother at a club in Houston. (She says she saw me at an earlier time, but won’t share the story with me. You should ask her about it. I expect she would enjoy telling it to you.)
When I first saw her, she did not look like the kind of woman I would fall in love with. She was younger than I knew was safe. She was wearing blue jeans and a blue t-shirt and had her hair pulled back in a punky-, indie- rock kind of way. Her hair was blonde back then, and she was wearing her converse. For some reason she seemed shorter then. (Now she and I are the same height.)
Had you asked me to describe the perfect woman, your mother would have been the opposite. I suppose that is the second sign you are in love: nothing else matters.
When I saw her, the world disappeared. A single thought struck me. Your mother burrowed herself inside my head. Some characterize this as love at first site, but I don’t think that would be accurate. Love happens in your heart. But you recognize where it can grow best. I suppose this is the third sign you are in love: you know it when you see it.
You will spend your life doing things for yourself. And you will spend your life doing things for others. Much of the time, you will do the right things for the wrong reasons and the wrong things for the right reasons. There’s no way to avoid these mistakes. Nothing to know, no secrets to share. As long as you keep your heart straight, you at least will always work toward something right no matter what goes wrong.
With love, it’s different. You will do things for yourself, or for them, but yo-u will do things for the both of you, the two of you together. That’s what makes love special. And that’s the last sign you are in love: it’s no longer about you, either of you. Love is about the two of you together. You become something different.
I’ve done and seen many wonderful things. I’ve done and seen many terrible things. I’ve heard the most amazing stories and seen amazing beauty. Nothing is ever more wonderful, terrible, or beautiful than love.
One of my dearest memories is sitting on the sand at Surfside watching your mother dance barefoot on the shore, the wind rushing through her hair and tearing at the red wrap skirt.
Of all the things you can do in this world, the things you will remember most fondly will be the things you do with your love. The greatest things you do for yourself and the greatest things you do for others will never be so great as the things you do for the two of you together.
Cherish every moment you have with your love. They will be the greatest moments of your life.