It’s the email I didn’t send that explains everything. …

Four years ago, I held your mother’s hand and promised her forever.

But we’ve split up again. I don’t think I’ve ever run so fast in my life, and I’m still trying to figure out why. I wonder how, many years from now this may affect you. I know one thing to my shame is I never thought about you once. I’m confident you’ll turn out fine — a nice, strong, proud man — but I wanted to be honest about the time when the most important things in my life weren’t.

How strangely the ritual conjures the ghosts.

Sometimes you work so hard because you feel it’s worth so much. Sometimes you don’t work enough. Sometimes you run because it’s not what you wanted. Sometimes you slow and relent. Sometimes it’s the love you forget. You discard your heart as spent. Sometimes it’s the hate you love, thrashing…

When I seek to warm my heart, I remember the glitter in your eyes. But when I seek to warm my soul, I remember the flutter on your thighs. …